Fostering Faith

I am thankful for the writing skills my daughter uses to express her thoughts and feelings. She shares way more on paper than she does in person, even in therapy. She would rather write. In school, she was recently asked to write a bioglyph. She's been reading biographies.  From studying the life of Lucille Ball, a comedian who stole the hearts of many as a woman who experienced many "firsts" on the big screen down the line to Malala Yousafzai, a girl who stood up for her rights to be educated. My daughter does not fail to mention every time she talks about Malala, that she was shot by a member of the Taliban as she fought for equality. Sometimes I fear she knows too much. I wish I could paint everyone to be nice for my children. I can I guess, but the truth will come out eventually. Not everyone is nice. Not everyone cares about the best interests of others. Which leads me to... my daughter's bioglyph. She actually typed this herself.  Reading th...

We are having so much fun in our theraplay. It's chaos and crazy-filled, but it is helping my daughter and I connect in deeper more meaningful ways. Her age helps, in terms of being more reasonable while understanding cause and effect, actions and reactions. In therapy today, she told the therapist, "I am ignoring. I learned that from my Mother." This is actually an amazing compliment. When there is negative talk or aggressive communication with the intent of pushing our limits, I have been practicing the ignoring skill I have learned. It really works. Labeled praise for behavior I want to see and ignoring behavior I do not want to see is making a big difference. If your child struggles with attachment, I highly recommend attachment therapy. In the last four years, we have participated in play therapy, family counseling, behavioral therapy and now attachment therapy combined with help from a psychiatrist. We are blessed to feel like these professionals are ...

In Parent Child Interactive Therapy (or Theraplay) I am learning about Pride Skills . As I mentioned in another post, I securely place headphones over my ears and begin playing with the toys with my daughter, that she chooses, for five minutes. The therapist reminds me of the rules for play while we are playing. I listen to my daughter. I listen to our therapist. I talk and play. It can be stressful at times, because I really want to get this right. The rules are, do not ask questions, do not make demands, keep your hands busy, reflect often on what you see your child doing, (example: "You are picking up a plate and placing a fork beside it.") and give labeled praises. Here is what the PRIDE acronym represents: P = Praise - Give Labeled Praise (be specific) - "I like it when you share your toys with me. I am proud of you for caring enough to share." R = Reflect - Reflect on what the child is doing/saying, if it is behavior you want to see more of. When my ...

If you are a parent, just a parent, you feel overwhelmed at times, I'm sure. If you are a parent of a child with mental disorders, trauma-created behaviors, inability to self-regulate, or other special needs...overwhelmed? Unbelievably overwhelmed at times. Sometimes those moments are fleeting, but sometimes they last. For me, at times, they can last for days following the behavior. It's as if I have somehow contracted PTSD. Certain behaviors cause me to relive the past, just as my daughter has recently mentioned reliving hers. When my daughter experiences rage fits that last up to three hours, has sweat dripping from her face from hitting the walls, doors, throwing things, stomping, throwing herself on the floor, hitting herself in the head...I am thrown right back into the first year we were together. I recall Dan asking me one evening early into our parenting journey, "Christie, what happened to your legs? You have bruises all over them!" With tears in my eyes,...

What a catchy title, right? I was reminded tonight of a really funny story from years ago. It's a true one. My husband and I were fast asleep, and I suddenly awakened, hearing a hissing sound and feeling as if I was frozen physically.  I did what any loving person would do for the safety of the person next to them at this time of the early morning hours. I whispered, " Don't move , whatever you do , DO NOT move ."  My husband who is the world's heaviest sleeper, didn't budge, until I finally and so very slowly moved my hand over to touch him, while still whispering, " Don't move. Please! Don't move . " He, of course, jolted awake and said, " Huh? What's going on Christie? "  I said, " Daniel, there is a snake on the floor near my side of the bed. Please don't move. Can you hear it? It is poised and ready to strike. " I could not be told otherwise. I believed it and nothing could sway me in that moment....

Yesterday my daughter tantrumed for over three hours.  It was loud. It was long. Too long.  After talking through what caused this, hours later, she told me that when I was touching her chin to talk quietly, giving her direction for a transition we were making, she didn't see me. She saw her birth mother trying to choke her. She wept as she sat in my lap, while telling me her birth parents tried to choke her every day.  She told me that everything goes black and she has flashbacks at random times when I would never imagine this to be possible.  I was not even close to her neck, I gently touched her chin so she could be at my eye level and hear my soft words.  Transitions are so difficult for her and I was handling this one as all the therapists and counselors have instructed me over the past nearly four years.  My heart broke. We cried together as we held each other tightly.  She went to blow her nose and asked for a minute to write a note to me befo...

Man, I get so ANGRY sometimes and it really ANNOYS me. I mentioned to a friend recently, that I long for the day when I can rise above the nonsense. Rise above the frustrations of unmet expectations placed on me by others. Rise above the anger I feel toward others due to a lack of interest in fully attempting to understand a point of view before making me feel completely worthless. There's more, but I'll spare you the gory details. I know that NOT rising above this "stuff" can easily cause isolation, bitterness and discontentment. Rising above is certainly what God would want for me, and if that's the case, then why do I linger here? In frustration. In anger.  Isaiah 40:31 says, in so many words, "I was made to soar." "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." If I was made to soar, then, why, oh why would I ev...