In Parent Child Interactive Therapy (or Theraplay) I am learning about Pride Skills.
As I mentioned in another post, I securely place headphones over my ears and begin playing with the toys with my daughter, that she chooses, for five minutes. The therapist reminds me of the rules for play while we are playing.
I listen to my daughter. I listen to our therapist. I talk and play. It can be stressful at times, because I really want to get this right.
The rules are, do not ask questions, do not make demands, keep your hands busy, reflect often on what you see your child doing, (example: "You are picking up a plate and placing a fork beside it.") and give labeled praises.
Here is what the PRIDE acronym represents:
P = Praise - Give Labeled Praise (be specific) - "I like it when you share your toys with me. I am proud of you for caring enough to share."
R = Reflect - Reflect on what the child is doing/saying, if it is behavior you want to see more of. When my daughter turns the conversation to something negative, I keep my hands busy playing and I ignore the negative words or actions. When I do not acknowledge the negativity it goes away quickly. It's amazing to see!
I = Imitate - If my daughter pretends to eat an ice cream cone, I pretend to eat an ice cream cone. I make faces and smile while rubbing my tummy.
D = Describe - Describe what you see happening as you play. For example, "You are making a waffle with the yellow playdoh. How creative!"
E = Enjoy - Show excitement and enthusiasm when you play. Let yourself be genuinely present and laugh. Smile. They know when you're being sincere and when you're not.
I really look forward to our theraplay. It is so much fun! My daughter and I can be very silly together.
After our play time, the therapist comes out and shows me a list of how well I did. This play time is a "test" to see how well I do focusing on all of the above: Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe and Enjoy.
She keeps count of every single time I do all of these things, along with how often I ask a question during our play. This has to be the toughest part of our play for me. If my daughter asks for "that over there", I am not supposed to ask which item she is interested in me handing to her and this goes completely against other counsel we have received in the past. I am learning. Slowly.
After a recent therapy session, I thanked my daughter for something and she told me that she really gets annoyed when I thank her. When asked why she feels this way, she responded with, "When you thank me for a behavior, I feel like you are BEGGING ME to continue that behavior!" What? This girl! "Yes dear, that's exactly what I am doing!" is what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "We will wait and talk to our therapist about this next week." Goodness! Again today, a week later, she came to me crying asking me to please stop thanking her. She said it makes her feel nervous and anxious. In the past, when I cheered her on in any capacity, she said it makes her nervous because she is afraid to fail, it puts too much pressure on her. I am assuming that giving her labeled praise affects her in the same way.
As I mentioned in another post, I securely place headphones over my ears and begin playing with the toys with my daughter, that she chooses, for five minutes. The therapist reminds me of the rules for play while we are playing.
I listen to my daughter. I listen to our therapist. I talk and play. It can be stressful at times, because I really want to get this right.
The rules are, do not ask questions, do not make demands, keep your hands busy, reflect often on what you see your child doing, (example: "You are picking up a plate and placing a fork beside it.") and give labeled praises.
Here is what the PRIDE acronym represents:
P = Praise - Give Labeled Praise (be specific) - "I like it when you share your toys with me. I am proud of you for caring enough to share."
R = Reflect - Reflect on what the child is doing/saying, if it is behavior you want to see more of. When my daughter turns the conversation to something negative, I keep my hands busy playing and I ignore the negative words or actions. When I do not acknowledge the negativity it goes away quickly. It's amazing to see!
I = Imitate - If my daughter pretends to eat an ice cream cone, I pretend to eat an ice cream cone. I make faces and smile while rubbing my tummy.
D = Describe - Describe what you see happening as you play. For example, "You are making a waffle with the yellow playdoh. How creative!"
E = Enjoy - Show excitement and enthusiasm when you play. Let yourself be genuinely present and laugh. Smile. They know when you're being sincere and when you're not.
I really look forward to our theraplay. It is so much fun! My daughter and I can be very silly together.
After our play time, the therapist comes out and shows me a list of how well I did. This play time is a "test" to see how well I do focusing on all of the above: Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe and Enjoy.
She keeps count of every single time I do all of these things, along with how often I ask a question during our play. This has to be the toughest part of our play for me. If my daughter asks for "that over there", I am not supposed to ask which item she is interested in me handing to her and this goes completely against other counsel we have received in the past. I am learning. Slowly.
After a recent therapy session, I thanked my daughter for something and she told me that she really gets annoyed when I thank her. When asked why she feels this way, she responded with, "When you thank me for a behavior, I feel like you are BEGGING ME to continue that behavior!" What? This girl! "Yes dear, that's exactly what I am doing!" is what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "We will wait and talk to our therapist about this next week." Goodness! Again today, a week later, she came to me crying asking me to please stop thanking her. She said it makes her feel nervous and anxious. In the past, when I cheered her on in any capacity, she said it makes her nervous because she is afraid to fail, it puts too much pressure on her. I am assuming that giving her labeled praise affects her in the same way.
We're working through attachment therapy weekly. Our attachment has grown unbelievably. She was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder less than a year ago. We are so blessed to be moving forward.
I have tried to give labeled praises in less obvious ways. Less "thank you's" and more "I love it when you help me fold our clothes. It shows me you are growing into a responsible and helpful young lady."
I am learning that every person on this planet is so incredibly complex. I am learning an immense amount about human nature, resilience, ability, motivation, patience, balance and love. Love and more love.
This is how Attachment Therapy is measured (Sourced by a Wikipedia search):
Therapists assess the families’ progress through PCIT in several ways. First, the observation and coding of parent-child interactions, using the Dyadic Parent-Child Interaction Coding System (DPICS), at the start of each session are used both to select the skills to target during the session and to determine when parents have met the criteria for moving from one phase of treatment to the next and for completing treatment. Before each session, parents also fill out the Intensity Scale of the Eyberg Child Behavior Inventory (ECBI), which measures the child’s current frequency of disruptive behavior at home. The therapist graphs the score each week to monitor the child’s progress and at various points in treatment shares this graph with the parents. Finally, in addition to these criteria, treatment does not end until parents express confidence in their ability to manage their child’s behavior and feel ready for treatment to end.[2]
I am learning that every person on this planet is so incredibly complex. I am learning an immense amount about human nature, resilience, ability, motivation, patience, balance and love. Love and more love.
This is how Attachment Therapy is measured (Sourced by a Wikipedia search):
Therapists assess the families’ progress through PCIT in several ways. First, the observation and coding of parent-child interactions, using the Dyadic Parent-Child Interaction Coding System (DPICS), at the start of each session are used both to select the skills to target during the session and to determine when parents have met the criteria for moving from one phase of treatment to the next and for completing treatment. Before each session, parents also fill out the Intensity Scale of the Eyberg Child Behavior Inventory (ECBI), which measures the child’s current frequency of disruptive behavior at home. The therapist graphs the score each week to monitor the child’s progress and at various points in treatment shares this graph with the parents. Finally, in addition to these criteria, treatment does not end until parents express confidence in their ability to manage their child’s behavior and feel ready for treatment to end.[2]
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