Mama Drama

Oh man! Is it Mother's Day AGAIN? Time flies.

Anyone who has ever lived, owes a debt to the one who bore them. I have an incredible amount of gratitude for the beautiful, loving, capable, courageous, confident, hospitable, genuine and amazing (trust me this list could go on!) Mother, with which God has rewarded me. I have been blessed, and that's a HUGE understatement.

I could tell you about the early mornings she would drag me out of bed for school, after calling me a gazillion times, oh, and this was when I was well into my teens, folks. I was not a happy camper. To this day, my husband is nervous about waking me up. I can be such a crab. She endured that for longer than my husband has, and that's been nineteen years. Now I'm dating myself. Let's move on... I could tell you about having never experienced hunger (true hunger where there was just no food in the house). I could tell you about the nights she rocked me to sleep. Her patterned tapping on my back, while rocking and sometimes singing is a memory that I have and hope to never forget.

So blessed.

So, why is Mother's Day one of "those" holidays that I struggle through?

To be blunt, because I have children that I didn't bear. There's another Mother on our family tree. A Mother who knew her limits. A Mother who truly loved my children enough to let them go. I mean, we all let our children go at some point, right? When they go away to college? When they get married? I've reasoned with myself. This is a "normal thing", to let your children go. It's just part of life. Then reality sinks in, and I am reminded that, no, this is not a "normal thing". These children were little. They were not raised with confidence, security and they were not given the nurture they needed to go through the natural developmental processes. They were babies. Letting go. Of babies.

My heart aches each year around this time because I cannot imagine the grief she may experience. Maybe it's only one weekend out of the year. Maybe it's every holiday, every birthday. Maybe it's every day. I don't know.

Either way, I am so grateful to that Mother. My children are beautiful, capable, worthwhile, responsible, loving, giving, creative, truly inspiring to me and to others. I am so blessed. So thankful.

While I think of my Mother today and every day, possibly every hour I am awake, today, I also think of mothers who have birthed children they no longer have.

I am thankful my Mother chose to give me life. That she chose to raise me the way she did. That she fought for me, or would have, if she had to. That she gave selflessly (and still does) to be an incredible example to all who know her.

I am so thankful for "My Village" of Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, Teachers and Church Friends, who, while growing up, watched out for us. My Mom and Dad created a safe environment for us with people they trusted.

As a person who is called Mommy, I know, the task at hand is greater than I would have ever imagined. The rewards are too though.

Whether you have natural, step, foster or adopted children, keep those children as close as you can for as long as you can. They'll never stop needing you. Love them unconditionally. Be their safe place. It's what every child deserves.

Thanks Mom, for all the ways you loved, protected and believed in me. I pray your unmatched legacy lives on through me and through my children. I love you dearly.

I also honor the Mothers who have given their children a new opportunity, by letting them go. They are brave. They are resilient. I pray they feel loved.

Happy Mother's Day, whatever those words means to you.

With love,
Christie