Fostering Faith

Oh man! Is it Mother's Day AGAIN? Time flies. Anyone who has ever lived, owes a debt to the one who bore them. I have an incredible amount of gratitude for the beautiful, loving, capable, courageous, confident, hospitable, genuine and amazing (trust me this list could go on!) Mother, with which God has rewarded me. I have been blessed, and that's a HUGE understatement. I could tell you about the early mornings she would drag me out of bed for school, after calling me a gazillion times, oh, and this was when I was well into my teens, folks. I was not a happy camper. To this day, my husband is nervous about waking me up. I can be such a crab. She endured that for longer than my husband has, and that's been nineteen years. Now I'm dating myself. Let's move on... I could tell you about having never experienced hunger (true hunger where there was just no food in the house). I could tell you about the nights she rocked me to sleep. Her patterned tapping on my back, whil

I am thankful for the writing skills my daughter uses to express her thoughts and feelings. She shares way more on paper than she does in person, even in therapy. She would rather write. In school, she was recently asked to write a bioglyph. She's been reading biographies.  From studying the life of Lucille Ball, a comedian who stole the hearts of many as a woman who experienced many "firsts" on the big screen down the line to Malala Yousafzai, a girl who stood up for her rights to be educated. My daughter does not fail to mention every time she talks about Malala, that she was shot by a member of the Taliban as she fought for equality. Sometimes I fear she knows too much. I wish I could paint everyone to be nice for my children. I can I guess, but the truth will come out eventually. Not everyone is nice. Not everyone cares about the best interests of others. Which leads me to... my daughter's bioglyph. She actually typed this herself.  Reading th

We are having so much fun in our theraplay. It's chaos and crazy-filled, but it is helping my daughter and I connect in deeper more meaningful ways. Her age helps, in terms of being more reasonable while understanding cause and effect, actions and reactions. In therapy today, she told the therapist, "I am ignoring. I learned that from my Mother." This is actually an amazing compliment. When there is negative talk or aggressive communication with the intent of pushing our limits, I have been practicing the ignoring skill I have learned. It really works. Labeled praise for behavior I want to see and ignoring behavior I do not want to see is making a big difference. If your child struggles with attachment, I highly recommend attachment therapy. In the last four years, we have participated in play therapy, family counseling, behavioral therapy and now attachment therapy combined with help from a psychiatrist. We are blessed to feel like these professionals are

In Parent Child Interactive Therapy (or Theraplay) I am learning about Pride Skills . As I mentioned in another post, I securely place headphones over my ears and begin playing with the toys with my daughter, that she chooses, for five minutes. The therapist reminds me of the rules for play while we are playing. I listen to my daughter. I listen to our therapist. I talk and play. It can be stressful at times, because I really want to get this right. The rules are, do not ask questions, do not make demands, keep your hands busy, reflect often on what you see your child doing, (example: "You are picking up a plate and placing a fork beside it.") and give labeled praises. Here is what the PRIDE acronym represents: P = Praise - Give Labeled Praise (be specific) - "I like it when you share your toys with me. I am proud of you for caring enough to share." R = Reflect - Reflect on what the child is doing/saying, if it is behavior you want to see more of. When my

If you are a parent, just a parent, you feel overwhelmed at times, I'm sure. If you are a parent of a child with mental disorders, trauma-created behaviors, inability to self-regulate, or other special needs...overwhelmed? Unbelievably overwhelmed at times. Sometimes those moments are fleeting, but sometimes they last. For me, at times, they can last for days following the behavior. It's as if I have somehow contracted PTSD. Certain behaviors cause me to relive the past, just as my daughter has recently mentioned reliving hers. When my daughter experiences rage fits that last up to three hours, has sweat dripping from her face from hitting the walls, doors, throwing things, stomping, throwing herself on the floor, hitting herself in the head...I am thrown right back into the first year we were together. I recall Dan asking me one evening early into our parenting journey, "Christie, what happened to your legs? You have bruises all over them!" With tears in my eyes,

What a catchy title, right? I was reminded tonight of a really funny story from years ago. It's a true one. My husband and I were fast asleep, and I suddenly awakened, hearing a hissing sound and feeling as if I was frozen physically.  I did what any loving person would do for the safety of the person next to them at this time of the early morning hours. I whispered, " Don't move , whatever you do , DO NOT move ."  My husband who is the world's heaviest sleeper, didn't budge, until I finally and so very slowly moved my hand over to touch him, while still whispering, " Don't move. Please! Don't move . " He, of course, jolted awake and said, " Huh? What's going on Christie? "  I said, " Daniel, there is a snake on the floor near my side of the bed. Please don't move. Can you hear it? It is poised and ready to strike. " I could not be told otherwise. I believed it and nothing could sway me in that moment.